Shawn: So what exactly are we gonna say to coach shit-for-words to get out of football camp?
Nick: What every kid says to get out of everything he doesn’t wanna do.

Nick: So not only  do I find out yesterday I’m adopted, the people I’ve been calling Mom and Dad are actually infertile imposters who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinatti for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this new dropped on me: my birth father, Bruce, well he needs a kidney and I’m the only match. And apparently Bruce needs it stat. You need it stat, Bruce!? Huh?! Well maybe I needed a father stat instead of my stay-at-home Dad who showers me with love every day of my life this goddamn sperm-less liar! So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permenente tomorrow at 6 AM. I know, Bruce couldn’t even afford a real hospital. Managed Care… It’s ironic, huh? He never managed to care for me.

  1. world-war-sam reblogged this from iloveyouwhiskey
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  16. victoriac7 reblogged this from evanschriss and added:
    Favorite movie! I literally read that in my head the exact way he says it in the movie. Lol. “You need it stat Bruce?!”
  17. shay-thedreamingfangirl reblogged this from evanschriss
  18. hellisemptyallthedevilsarehere11 reblogged this from evanschriss and added:
    omg his lip biting im dying! So SeXy
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  22. beegee123 reblogged this from evanschriss and added:
    OK, its official. I LOVE THE MOVIE FIRED UP :)
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  30. dominarnixa reblogged this from evanschriss and added:
    BEST. PART. but all of the movie is the best.
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